living life to the fullest

Focusing on the Moment

| helenburtonblog

In 1980, I attended a two-weekend (6-day, 60-hour) transformation course known as “The EST Training”. During the training, I gained self-confidence, learned how to make meaningful choices, and enjoy life. The last day of the training, I declared my main goal in life was to make a difference in the world. Forty years later I am still focusing on the same goal.

Yesterday morning, I was thinking about what type of project I could create that would make a difference in a person’s life. This thought stopped me in my tracks. Why was I always thinking about making a difference instead of enjoying the happy moments in my own life?

Yesterday, my daughter was so busy with work she didn’t have time to plant flowers for me. I was annoyed at first that she couldn’t help me. Then I realized that I was jealous because she had a project to work on and I had nothing important to do. How irrational was that thought?

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Carolina’s Dance Recital

| helenburtonblog

My great-granddaughter Carolina was going to be in a dance recital near her home in Georgia. Jill, my daughter, and I boarded a plane at Trenton Airport to Atlanta, Georgia.  Trenton Airport is very small, and the waiting area is almost non-existent. It made me very nervous sitting next to so many people not wearing a mask. I didn’t care what others were doing and wore one.

Jill reserved seats for us in the front of the plane and we were allowed to board the plane before the other passengers. The plane quickly filled up and there were no vacant seats. We landed two hours later in the Atlanta Airport.

The airport is very large, and we had to take a train to get our baggage and another one to the rental car area. Then Jill and I drove over two hours to arrive at my granddaughter’s house. Once we got there it was so exciting to see everyone — especially my great-grandchildren.

Carolina, four years old, had me doing crafts with her as soon as we arrived. After eating, Carolina, Jill (her grandmother), and I got into bed to read books. We all took turns reading a page.

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Moving Forward

| helenburtonblog

Since March 2020, we have been living with the threat of COVID. When you listen to the news,  the first thing you hear is what is happening in Ukraine, and then COVID. When are we going to get back to living our lives without the fear of COVID?

Now we don’t have to wear a mask when indoors. Is that safe? Whenever I enter a store, the first thing I do is put my mask on. Yesterday when I went food shopping, most people were still wearing a mask.

I was speaking to someone yesterday who is frightened to leave her house. She will only go into a store if there are only a few people there. Otherwise, she just leaves. On the other hand, some of my friends are not wearing masks and even going to the movies. Everyone has their own opinions.

I am careful and still living my life. I’m meeting friends for lunch or dinner, going into stores with a mask, and not going to the movies.

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Life Stresses

| helenburtonblog

“Negativity” makes me crazy. At a networking event, I was speaking to another entrepreneur about the merits of social media. He felt that social media was a waste of time and anyone who used it was making a big mistake. Then he quickly changed the subject and told me about the terrible selection of breakfast food being served. I felt my stress level rising as I don’t feel comfortable with negative people. My first reaction was to tell him about the benefits of being positive. Instead, I just smiled and remained quiet.

Later, while driving home, I was angry at myself for not saying anything. I thought of ways in which I could have responded, especially about social media. I could have told him how social media has helped my blog to grow and allowed me to read posts from my grandchildren and learn about friend’s happy occasions. I promised myself that next time, I will share my thoughts instead of smiling and remaining quiet. Let’s take bets it will never happen.

Whenever I am overwhelmed – with answering too many emails, going out every night of the week, doing taxes, or cooking meals – I start shoving food into my mouth. Start with crackers, peanut butter from the jar, ice cream, and anything else that is crunchy or sweet, and always end the binge with fruit.

In order to control these bingeing tactics, I could meditate, take long walks, or call a friend to vent and find solutions. Recently, I have been trying these techniques and sometimes they work. I need to practice more. In some ways stress can be healthy, as it helps me cope with demanding situations.

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Lady Deva

| helenburtonblog

The first time I saw Mini, a 10-year-old rescue cat, I fell in love. She had the greenest eyes, the shiniest blue-black coat, and white paws. Mini was living in the apartment above the vet’s office for over a year. Due to COVID, I was introduced to her though a window. Two days later Mini was in my car going to her new home.

When we got to my house, she explored every room and lay down in a corner to take a nap. I let her sleep and called my family and friends to let them know about my new companion. After a while she woke up and kept exploring, careful not to take a step near me.

After leaving her alone, Mini finally ventured towards me for a pet on her back. I spoke quietly, telling her how happy I was that we would be living together. Listening for a few seconds, she then walked back into her corner. Between her naps she ate very little and (thankfully) used the litter box. When I got into bed that night, she climbed onto the bed and slept a distance away from me.

The next day she was very comfortable and even slept on my lap. We became fast friends. I didn’t like her name and decided that I had to change it. While speaking to my sister we had a good laugh over her name. My grandparents named my mother Mini, which she hated and changed to Mona when she was a young girl.  We then discussed new names for Mini and, after telling her what a Deva she was, I decided to rename her Lady Deva, also known as Deva. She sleeps on the bed until 10:00am each morning and only eats foods with gravy. After calling her Lady Deva a few times, she became friendlier. I guess she really didn’t like her name either.

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Back to Blogging

| helenburtonblog

Hi Everyone:

I am back and looking forward to connecting again. COVID has been an interesting journey. In the beginning when we were first in lockdown I was excited about using isolation to catch up on reading books, Netflix, and Amazon Prime. During the day I took long walks and got to know my neighbors. Then reality set in and I quickly realized this was no way to live. I missed my friends, going out to eat, and seeing my family. The highlight of my week was to go food shopping early in the morning when the food market was less crowded.

The Princeton Senior Resource Center (PSRC) came to my rescue and planned Zoom classes. I jumped right in, took trainings, and prepared for the TED Talk discussion group. The first Zoom call was scheduled for Tuesday, April 7,2020, and we’ve continued these calls on Tuesdays at 10:30 ever since.

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Birthdays

| helenburtonblog

You are living your life every day and all of a sudden realize your birthday is fast approaching. At first I go into denial and think it is not for a while. Then as the day draws closer I become slightly depressed and very sensitive. Thoughts of loneliness and the fact I am getting older is plaguing my mind. My defense mechanism is to isolate for a while. This behavior is short lived as my birthday arrives.
My birthday arrived. I had a fun day, met a very good friend for breakfast (splurged on a muffin), sat on the couch reading a book and celebrated my birthday with friends. The next day I woke up feeling happy and positive. What a complex individual I am and knowing there are beautiful people in my life is very comforting.
We are all different individuals; share with us your behavior as the big day approaches and/or how you celebrate the big day. Some of my friends plan big celebrations, others buy themselves presents or like me deny the day. There is no right or wrong.
Please help build this community by sharing your experiences, asking questions and suggesting topics you would like to discuss. I am looking forward to hearing from you by leaving comments below or sending me an email at helen@helenburton.net.
Helen

Living in the Moment

| helenburtonblog

I am looking out the window of my home in NJ and the butterflies are flying around the weeds and flowers. What a beautiful and peaceful picture.

It has taken me years to come to the point of just relaxing and enjoy what is happening in the moment. This was a hard transition for me to be able to take the time to enjoy what was happening right now and not focus on all the things I had to do.  I’ve attended many workshops/lectures and have read different books in which the presenters and authors always focus on the benefits of being in the moment.

How do you accomplish this feat? Some of my methods for finding peace:

  • Making myself a cup of tea, sitting in a comfortable chair and looking out the window. The first time I tried this, I sat for about 2 seconds. After trying this exercise for several weeks, I was able to sit longer. Don’t worry about your thoughts, keep telling yourself you are okay. It is amazing how relaxing and peaceful you will feel.
  • Taking a short walk outside and enjoying the sights and sound around me. Some people listen to music as they are walking and others enjoy the quiet. Moving and being outside restores my energy and I feel ready to conquer the world.
  • While spending time with friends, grandchildren and children, I take the time to think how lucky I am. On Monday evenings for the last 12 years my grandson and I have dinner together. We call this our bonding time and have built a great relationship.

Please share with us the tools you are using in order to enjoy the moment and the benefits you are receiving. Creating a list will help us find different ways of being in the moment.

Let’s continue to build our community in supporting each other with ideas, lessons learned and empowering thoughts. I am looking forward to hearing from you by leaving comments below or sending me an email at helen@helenburton.net.

Have a beautiful and peaceful day!