On December 31, 2018 my granddaughter, Caitlin and Jake were married. It was a fairy-tale wedding. The bride and groom were so happy and in love. During their first dance, they were giggling, and you could see the happiness and love in their facial expressions.

Caitlin and Jake and with the help of their bridal party worked over eight months to plan the perfect wedding. Every detail was implemented with perfection. When you walked into the venue it took your breath away.

The bride was stunning, bridesmaids and mothers of both the bride and groom were beautiful, and the two flower girls were adorable. The ushers were very handsome. Sitting there with my family, I felt emotional and so very happy for the young couple.

It was a whirlwind weekend. Caitlin’s family and friends gathered in Dublin, Georgia, on Friday, December 28, 2018, for this big event. Jake’s parents, Lisa and Jeff entertained us with Southern Hospitality. Not a second went by when we were not pampered.

It’s amazing how time marches on and things change, but the feelings of love and happiness for others never changes. Sitting at the wedding and watching, thinking how lucky I was to be enjoying this momentum event.

Life has its ups and downs and when we are given a special gift to enjoy loving moments, nothing can replace those times.

Take a deep breath and think about those special times in your life that brought a smile to your face. I would love to hear about them. Send me an email at helen@loveyourselfcoaching.net or leave a comment on this blog.

Looking forward to hearing from you. Helen

These are our “Go -Go – Years”. It’s the time in our lives when we can love life from a new perspective. Now that we are in our 70s, our lives have taken on a different path. We have the luxury of focusing on new opportunities. We can travel, spend more time with families and friends, volunteer, go back to school or take steps to achieve our dreams.

Some of us may have health challenges which should not give us permission to just give up and say my life is over. Life still provides opportunities for which we can take advantage. Several of my friends are facing health issues. Their challenges do not stop them from meeting for dinner and attending movies or lectures. I am very grateful for my health and ability to take advantage of various opportunities.

For instance, this past summer I spent a few days with 29 other women visiting Cape May, NJ. We had a fantastic time laughing, exploring the island and sampling food at various restaurants. Even though some of the women had health issues, it did not prevent them from having a great time.

In addition, I took a cruise to Alaska and had a fantastic time. Enjoying the pristine environment and exploring the different attractions created a vacation I will never forget. We have a choice: Either we can let the years pass us by or take advantage of what life has to offer. I, for one, opt for the latter.

What are your dreams? Do you want to travel, volunteer for an organization that specializes in a cause that melts your heart, or go back to school or start a new business? The sky is your limit!

Let’s support one another in taking our first small steps. Some small steps to consider:

• Journal your thoughts to decide which goal you would like to accomplish. Remember, the sky’s the limit so write down everything you would like to do. Maybe plan a trip to Hawaii, start a small business, take a few days off and just relax around the house.

• Think about the goals for a few days before taking any action. After reading your list, which idea(s) light your fire?

• In your journal, describe your ideas in detail. Don’t omit any details.

• Think about how you would feel when this goal is accomplished.

• If you are ready to get started, write down the steps you would need to accomplish your goal.

• What action step are you going to take? Make sure the step is relatively easy to accomplish; let’s NOT make life harder on ourselves.

• Ask for support in accomplishing this goal. Write your goal in the comment section below, and let us know if we can support you in any way. Example: your goal is taking a trip to Hawaii. Ask for hotel and restaurant recommendations. Ask for suggestions about which islands to visit and any other information that would enhance your vacation.

I look forward to hearing from you. Either leave a comment on this blog or send me an email at helen@helenburton.net

 

In the beginning of June, I spent four days in Cape May, N.J. with 29 women. We ate in the best restaurants, explored the tourist sites and had belly laughs. It took a long time to recover from lack of sleep and the large amount of food I consumed. Coming home and being alone with my cats, Alfie and Alice, was an adjustment. The house was quiet, and not having anyone to laugh with and talk to was very lonely. After a few hours, I became accustomed to the peace and quiet.

Being with people makes me feel alive. Observing others is very interesting — some are outgoing, and others are introverts who like to listen. One evening there were 15 of us sitting around and chatting. Suddenly, one of the women made a comment and we started to laugh uncontrollably. The evening took off from there; the comments and laughter were contagious. I don’t think I laughed so hard in years!

According to research, laughter relieves physical tension and stress. I can attest to these feelings. I never felt better and could see the good in everyone. The next morning, everyone was extremely friendly and looked forward to spending time together.

I would love to hear about your fun times. Please post your experiences in the comment section below, or send me an e-mail to helen@helenburton.net. We can all enjoy one another’s experiences.

The world would be a better place if you could see the good in others and laugh together. Let’s start a trend to interact with people in a loving way. Are you up for the challenge?

Here are some actions you can try:

• Smile more: When shopping, walking down the street or stopped at a red light, smile at the person(s) with whom you come into contact. The world will become a friendlier place.

• Compliment others: Don’t be shy. If someone is wearing a pretty outfit, scarf, or has a nice haircut, make sure to tell them. You will brighten their day.

• Pay it forward: If you are at a coffee shop or toll booth, pay for the person behind you. The surprised look on their face is priceless.

• Reach out to others: Call someone you have not spoken to in a while. Calling to chat will renew your friendship.

• Share your feelings with others: Let your friends know how much they mean to you. This will create and reinforce intimate relationships.

Let me know if you have tried any of these actions and the outcome. Also, if you have tried other actions, tell me what transpired. You can leave a comment on this blog, or send me an e-mail at helen@helenburton.net.

I look forward to hearing from you.

Warmly,
Helen

I attended the play Intimate Apparel at the McCarter Theater, Princeton, NJ. The play takes place in 1905, and is a story of a young single African American seamstress who supports herself by creating lingerie for wealthy Manhattan clients. It tells of how one woman discovers her own empowerment and the true meaning of intimacy.

While watching the play, I was thinking about the years I was in my early twenties. My sole mission in life was to be married and have children. I was married at 21 years of age, and had two children by the time I was 26 years old. My days were filled with taking care of my daughters, cleaning the house and associating with friends and neighbors. If you had asked me what my life was like in the 1970’s, I would have had to figure out how old my daughters were in order to answer you. My life was so wrapped up in my husband and children, I had no identity.

In the early 1980’s, I realized there was more to life than taking care of my home and meeting friends for lunch. My small world started opening up, and I discovered a person who had many passions and gifts that she wanted to share with the world.

I am still on that journey. Today I have a life fulfilling my passions and making differences in the lives of others.

Take some time today to sit down and think about your life’s journey, to date. What are your proudest moments, what lessons have you learned and what dreams do you have for the future? After you have done this, write yourself a letter describing these special events. In the comment section below, shout out your praises and let us know your accomplishments.

Please help build this community by sharing your experiences, asking questions and suggesting topics you would like to discuss in the future. I am looking forward to hearing from you. Please either leave your comments below, or send me an email at helen@helenburton.net.

Warmly, Helen

Last Sunday was Mother’s Day. I had to get up very early, and as I was out late the day before, all I wanted to do was continue to sleep. My cat, Alfie, had to work very hard to get me out of bed to feed him and my other cat, Alice. After a while, I couldn’t take him walking all over me and Alice standing there meowing, so I reluctantly got myself out of bed. Dragging myself around the house, and realizing I had to leave in 20 minutes, it was a mad rush to get out the door. At that point, I could have felt sorry for myself or thought about the beautiful day I was going to have. Being human, I felt sorry for myself! However, knowing that I would be meeting my family put a smile on my face and changed my mood.

We had a beautiful day having breakfast together, walking around New Hope, Pennsylvania and seeing a comedy at the Bucks County Playhouse. I finished the day by attending a barbecue.

How lucky am I to have a loving and caring family. We keep in touch, and celebrate and support one another through life’s journeys.

I would love to hear about your special days by leaving a comment below.

Going back to the quote which alludes to the fact you can create a day filled with sadness or joy, if I continued to feel sorry for myself, I would not have had a beautiful day and by changing my mood, it enabled me to have a day filled with everlasting memories.

I know while being in a funk it is hard to change your attitude. Below are some suggestions:

•Accept how you are feeling. By not fighting the feelings, it opens the door for solutions.
• Think about a special day you had either by yourself or with others. It will definitely put a smile on your face.
• Call a friend and reminisce about a special time you had together.
• Listening to music can boost your mood. When listening to music I start to relax, and if I’m at home, dancing around the house certainly puts a smile on my face.
•Set aside ten minutes and write down all the things for which you are grateful. After 10 minutes expires, choose three things for which you are grateful, and every morning before getting out of bed reflect about those thoughts. It will definitely put you in a better frame of mind.

Please help build this community by sharing your experiences, asking questions and suggesting topics you would like to discuss. I am looking forward to hearing from you by leaving comments below or sending me an e-mail at helen@helenburton.net.

Warmly,
Helen

Some days are filled with excitement, wonder and others are filled with loneliness. I am sure these feelings are not exclusive to being a widow. We all have an array of emotions that are attached to different experiences in our life.

After my husband pasted away, it was the only time in my life that I lived alone. At first I received a lot of phone calls and was trying to get through the day. As the days turned into months, everyone went back to living their own lives and I had to learn to live a single lifestyle.

My saving grace were my two best friends, Alice and Alfie, my cats. Every morning Alfie woke me up at 6:00am to feed him and Alice. It has been 8 years since my husband past away and he is still waking me up every morning.

Through the years I have built a life for myself, working part-time and spending time with friends and family. Some days are exciting and others are difficult. During the difficult times, I always ask myself the question, “What are you learning today?”

Recently, I was going through a time when I lost my desire to engage in life, nothing seem to excite me. I just wanted to read a fiction book and lose myself in the characters. After sending a day just reading and binging on breadsticks, nuts and almond butter from the jar, it was time to reevaluated what was happening.

It was pretty clear I was feeling sorry for myself and in a rut. The big question, “Why.” During the past two months I was spending a lot of time with friends and family. My grandson graduated from College in May and my family spent a few days together, the beginning of June I went away with a group of friends and a few weeks later went to a wedding in Baltimore. I was constantly with either family or friends and then coming back to being alone was a hard transition. I was lucky to have my two companions, Alfie and Alice.

Thinking about my transition realized I was tired and missed the comradery of others. My challenge was to accept my life and focus on the positive aspects. It was up to me to turn my thinking around. Things I am grateful for:

• Alfie and Alice my loving companions.
• My caring and loving family and friends.
• The ability and desire to explore my feelings and take positive action steps.
• Assisting Non-Profits to spread their message by interviewing the key staff members on my Princeton TV show, “Skyrocket with Helen Burton.”
• Living life as a journey and always looking for opportunities.

Reminding myself how lucky I am to live such a fulfilling life has made a difference. What different steps do you take to adjust your thinking and put a smile on your face?

Please help build this community by sharing your experiences, asking questions and suggesting topics you would like to discuss. I am looking forward to hearing from you by leaving comments below or sending me an email at helen@helenburton.net.

Helen