Speaking to my cousin Roz many months ago about giving myself a memorable birthday gift, we discussed the possibility of an Israeli tour. After researching a few of the Israeli tours, we decided on the 12-day Margret Morse Tour Group. It was one of the best decisions we ever made – the trip of a lifetime.

We booked the trip in November 2021 and hoped the threat of COVID would not cancel the trip. Roz had moved to Israel in August 2021. I decided to fly to Israel a few days before the tour began to visit with Roz and her family.

El-Al requires everyone to have a negative PCR test 72 hours before boarding the plane, and an entry document completed. I worried about the test for about a week and thankfully it was negative. When arriving in Israel I had to take another COVID test and remain in quarantine at Roz’s apartment until I received the results. Fortunately, the second test also came back negative.

The months flew by and before we knew it, March 21, 2022 had arrived. Arriving at Newark airport and going through Israeli security was nerve-racking. The custom agent wore a mask, and his English was hard to understand. I kept saying “What” until finally he was satisfied with my answers and told me to have a safe trip. From that point on the rest of the experience went smoothly.

The plane was packed with most of the middle seats empty. It was a long and smooth ride. When I arrived at Ben Gurion Airport, my cousin, her daughter, and her husband were waiting for me. I was so excited, I couldn’t breathe.

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Throughout my life I have always been obsessed with food. As a young child I never wanted to eat, and my mother made me milkshakes and gave me cookies so that I wouldn’t starve to death. This food drama continued until I was seven years old. At that point, I finally started to like certain foods – and everything changed. To my horror, I started gaining weight.

I discovered that food wasn’t just a substance for survival; instead, it made me feel better for a short while. At times I wish my dislike for food as a young child would have continued.

Through the years I became a Yo-Yo Dieter, losing weight and gaining it back. Reading an article about food obsessions, I learned of a group called Over Eaters Anonymous. They had scheduled meetings near my home. I was always looking for the perfect diet, so I decided to go. That night I found the perfect food plan, which consisted of eating three meals a day and two snacks twice a day. At breakfast I usually had yogurt and cereal with fruit and for lunch and dinner: 3 ounces of protein, 4 ounces of carbs, vegetables, and fruit. The snacks were 2 ounces of protein and fruit. I followed the food plan for ten years and kept the weight off.

Then one day, while out to lunch with friends, I ordered a hamburger with fries and had dessert. It felt so good to eat anything I wanted that I continued through the next three years to enjoy myself. There was only one problem: the numbers on the scale were getting higher. Periodically I went on a diet, but that never lasted for more than two to three weeks.

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It’s 7:00 in the morning and Alexa starts playing music by Barbara Streisand. My eyes slowly open and I think, “Oh no — I have to exercise.” After a while I start moving, slowly put on my exercise clothes, and take the equipment out of the closet.

I set the timer on my watch, read over the planned exercise program, and begin. After the second exercise I can’t say I am enjoying myself, but my mind stops complaining. The best part is that I have more energy, can get down and up from the floor, and have strength in my upper body. I must admit, my body is looking better!

In 1995, I hired my first exercise trainer and became obsessed with exercising. Each morning before work for an hour, I would go on the treadmill and lift weights. After work I followed the same routine. Eventually, my left knee said “no more,” and started hurting. After going to the doctor for shots and physical therapy, it was suggested to only do exercises that would strengthen the knee until my knee healed.  

This gave me permission to stop exercising for years. Every so often I would start exercising again, but within a brief time stopped again.

Not exercising took a toll on my body. I had trouble getting out of a chair, sometimes my balance was failing, and I just felt like a couch potato. I hired a trainer who was also a physical therapist. She created an exercise program focusing on my balance, strength, and flexibility. We have been working together for the past twenty years.

I would work with her every five weeks. For years I kept to this schedule. Then as the years passed, my exercise commitment started to evaporate. I would cancel appointments and not reschedule. Every so often I would feel guilty and schedule an appointment. I’d exercise for two weeks and then decide to rest my body. This pattern went on for years.

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It was a cold, snowy day in March 2021 when I received calls from my daughters suggesting I sell my house. My first reaction was “NO Way.” They both tried to convince me, but I stood my ground and would not budge.

A few months later my cousin decided to sell her house and move to Israel. In a matter of days, the house was sold and she had made a substantial profit. Between the seed planted by my daughters and the success of my cousin, I started thinking that maybe I should sell my house.

Speaking to my daughters, I told them my idea, and the very next day a real estate agent was sitting in my living room. The next couple of days were a complete blur. The house was listed, and visitations were scheduled for that weekend. My cat, Lady Deva, and I left for the day. That night my agent called and reported he had received 16 bids. The two higher bidders were in a bidding war. I became very nervous and wanted to run away.

After discussing the bids with my agent, daughters, and son in-law, we decided to accept the next-to-highest bidder. Our feelings were that they would be easier to work with – what a big mistake.

I hired a lawyer and was excited about the next chapter in my life. The Agent scheduled appointments to view properties for sale or rent in 55-and-over communities. I fell in love with one house, but the monthly rental was very high. Having a limited time frame, I decided to rent the house.

The prospective buyers’ lawyer took forever in accepting the contract for sale. Then the nightmare began, as the buyers hired an inspector who found 32 items needing repairs on my 60-year-old home. At that point, I reevaluated the idea of selling my home.

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On December 31, 2018 my granddaughter, Caitlin and Jake were married. It was a fairy-tale wedding. The bride and groom were so happy and in love. During their first dance, they were giggling, and you could see the happiness and love in their facial expressions.

Caitlin and Jake and with the help of their bridal party worked over eight months to plan the perfect wedding. Every detail was implemented with perfection. When you walked into the venue it took your breath away.

The bride was stunning, bridesmaids and mothers of both the bride and groom were beautiful, and the two flower girls were adorable. The ushers were very handsome. Sitting there with my family, I felt emotional and so very happy for the young couple.

It was a whirlwind weekend. Caitlin’s family and friends gathered in Dublin, Georgia, on Friday, December 28, 2018, for this big event. Jake’s parents, Lisa and Jeff entertained us with Southern Hospitality. Not a second went by when we were not pampered.

It’s amazing how time marches on and things change, but the feelings of love and happiness for others never changes. Sitting at the wedding and watching, thinking how lucky I was to be enjoying this momentum event.

Life has its ups and downs and when we are given a special gift to enjoy loving moments, nothing can replace those times.

Take a deep breath and think about those special times in your life that brought a smile to your face. I would love to hear about them. Send me an email at helen@loveyourselfcoaching.net or leave a comment on this blog.

Looking forward to hearing from you. Helen

These are our “Go -Go – Years”. It’s the time in our lives when we can love life from a new perspective. Now that we are in our 70s, our lives have taken on a different path. We have the luxury of focusing on new opportunities. We can travel, spend more time with families and friends, volunteer, go back to school or take steps to achieve our dreams.

Some of us may have health challenges which should not give us permission to just give up and say my life is over. Life still provides opportunities for which we can take advantage. Several of my friends are facing health issues. Their challenges do not stop them from meeting for dinner and attending movies or lectures. I am very grateful for my health and ability to take advantage of various opportunities.

For instance, this past summer I spent a few days with 29 other women visiting Cape May, NJ. We had a fantastic time laughing, exploring the island and sampling food at various restaurants. Even though some of the women had health issues, it did not prevent them from having a great time.

In addition, I took a cruise to Alaska and had a fantastic time. Enjoying the pristine environment and exploring the different attractions created a vacation I will never forget. We have a choice: Either we can let the years pass us by or take advantage of what life has to offer. I, for one, opt for the latter.

What are your dreams? Do you want to travel, volunteer for an organization that specializes in a cause that melts your heart, or go back to school or start a new business? The sky is your limit!

Let’s support one another in taking our first small steps. Some small steps to consider:

• Journal your thoughts to decide which goal you would like to accomplish. Remember, the sky’s the limit so write down everything you would like to do. Maybe plan a trip to Hawaii, start a small business, take a few days off and just relax around the house.

• Think about the goals for a few days before taking any action. After reading your list, which idea(s) light your fire?

• In your journal, describe your ideas in detail. Don’t omit any details.

• Think about how you would feel when this goal is accomplished.

• If you are ready to get started, write down the steps you would need to accomplish your goal.

• What action step are you going to take? Make sure the step is relatively easy to accomplish; let’s NOT make life harder on ourselves.

• Ask for support in accomplishing this goal. Write your goal in the comment section below, and let us know if we can support you in any way. Example: your goal is taking a trip to Hawaii. Ask for hotel and restaurant recommendations. Ask for suggestions about which islands to visit and any other information that would enhance your vacation.

I look forward to hearing from you. Either leave a comment on this blog or send me an email at helen@helenburton.net

 

In the beginning of June, I spent four days in Cape May, N.J. with 29 women. We ate in the best restaurants, explored the tourist sites and had belly laughs. It took a long time to recover from lack of sleep and the large amount of food I consumed. Coming home and being alone with my cats, Alfie and Alice, was an adjustment. The house was quiet, and not having anyone to laugh with and talk to was very lonely. After a few hours, I became accustomed to the peace and quiet.

Being with people makes me feel alive. Observing others is very interesting — some are outgoing, and others are introverts who like to listen. One evening there were 15 of us sitting around and chatting. Suddenly, one of the women made a comment and we started to laugh uncontrollably. The evening took off from there; the comments and laughter were contagious. I don’t think I laughed so hard in years!

According to research, laughter relieves physical tension and stress. I can attest to these feelings. I never felt better and could see the good in everyone. The next morning, everyone was extremely friendly and looked forward to spending time together.

I would love to hear about your fun times. Please post your experiences in the comment section below, or send me an e-mail to helen@helenburton.net. We can all enjoy one another’s experiences.

The world would be a better place if you could see the good in others and laugh together. Let’s start a trend to interact with people in a loving way. Are you up for the challenge?

Here are some actions you can try:

• Smile more: When shopping, walking down the street or stopped at a red light, smile at the person(s) with whom you come into contact. The world will become a friendlier place.

• Compliment others: Don’t be shy. If someone is wearing a pretty outfit, scarf, or has a nice haircut, make sure to tell them. You will brighten their day.

• Pay it forward: If you are at a coffee shop or toll booth, pay for the person behind you. The surprised look on their face is priceless.

• Reach out to others: Call someone you have not spoken to in a while. Calling to chat will renew your friendship.

• Share your feelings with others: Let your friends know how much they mean to you. This will create and reinforce intimate relationships.

Let me know if you have tried any of these actions and the outcome. Also, if you have tried other actions, tell me what transpired. You can leave a comment on this blog, or send me an e-mail at helen@helenburton.net.

I look forward to hearing from you.

Warmly,
Helen

I attended the play Intimate Apparel at the McCarter Theater, Princeton, NJ. The play takes place in 1905, and is a story of a young single African American seamstress who supports herself by creating lingerie for wealthy Manhattan clients. It tells of how one woman discovers her own empowerment and the true meaning of intimacy.

While watching the play, I was thinking about the years I was in my early twenties. My sole mission in life was to be married and have children. I was married at 21 years of age, and had two children by the time I was 26 years old. My days were filled with taking care of my daughters, cleaning the house and associating with friends and neighbors. If you had asked me what my life was like in the 1970’s, I would have had to figure out how old my daughters were in order to answer you. My life was so wrapped up in my husband and children, I had no identity.

In the early 1980’s, I realized there was more to life than taking care of my home and meeting friends for lunch. My small world started opening up, and I discovered a person who had many passions and gifts that she wanted to share with the world.

I am still on that journey. Today I have a life fulfilling my passions and making differences in the lives of others.

Take some time today to sit down and think about your life’s journey, to date. What are your proudest moments, what lessons have you learned and what dreams do you have for the future? After you have done this, write yourself a letter describing these special events. In the comment section below, shout out your praises and let us know your accomplishments.

Please help build this community by sharing your experiences, asking questions and suggesting topics you would like to discuss in the future. I am looking forward to hearing from you. Please either leave your comments below, or send me an email at helen@helenburton.net.

Warmly, Helen